It's hard, this moving on thing. I don't understand it, but for once in my life I regret something. I regret everything, because for once in my life, I realized that I screwed up too. I could put all the blame on him, but I know, good god I know that I messed up just as much. The arguing and the not thinking before I speak and my actions--> all of that was just as bad as how he hurt me. I was reading my bible today and something hit me;- I had such a hard time with our relationship, because I never truely forgave him for his wrong doing and for his sins. If I would have truely forgiven him for what he had done to me, everything would have been ok. All the stress and all the pain would have been taken away. But look at me now, look at what not forgiving and all the assuming did to me. I have more pain now than I ever did before. I cried in church today and asked God to help me with all of this pain and to give me the strength to move forward. Now all I can do is wait...
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